Sunday, June 30, 2013

Looking For: Iphone 4S

HowardForums is a discussion board dedicated to mobile phones with over 1,000,000 members and growing!

For your convenience HowardForums is divided into 7 main sections; marketplace, phone manufacturers, carriers, smartphones/PDAs, general phone discussion, buy sell trade and general discussions. Just scroll down to see them!

Only registered members may post questions, contact other members or search our database of over 8 million posts. Why don't you join us today!

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Mitchell 2011 Nissan Sentra Used Sedan near Sioux Falls, SD Brookings, SD Vern Eide Ford Lincoln for $

  • Black
  • F92216E
  • 2.0L 4 cyls
  • 3N1AB6AP2BL615395
  • 47,845 mi.
  • FWD Sedan (4 Door)


  • Convenience

    • Interior air filtration
    • Air conditioning
    • Center Console - Full with covered storage
    • Speed-proportional power steering
    • Tilt steering wheel
    • Clock - In-radio display
    • Tachometer
    • Power windows with 1 one-touch
    • Rear defogger
  • Exterior

    • Intermittent window wipers
    • Privacy/tinted glass
  • Interior

    • Split-bench rear seats
    • Front seat type - Bucket
  • Safety

    • 4-wheel ABS brakes
    • Head airbags - Curtain 1st and 2nd row
    • Passenger Airbag
    • Stability control
    • Traction control - ABS and driveline
  • Technical

    • 2.0 L liter inline 4 cylinder DOHC engine with variable valve timing
    • 4 Doors
    • Front-wheel drive


Contact Us at (800) 778-0215

EPA mileage estimates are for newly manufactured vehicles only. Your actual mileage will vary depending on how you drive and maintain your vehicle.

Before purchasing this vehicle, it is your responsibility to address any and all differences between information on this website and the actual vehicle specifications and/or any warranties offered prior to the sale of this vehicle. Vehicle data on this website is compiled from publicly available sources believed by the publisher to be reliable. Vehicle data is subject to change without notice. The publisher assumes no responsibility for errors and/or omissions in this data the compilation of this data and makes no representations express or implied to any actual or prospective purchaser of the vehicle as to the condition of the vehicle, vehicle specifications, ownership, vehicle history, equipment/accessories, price or warranties.


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Saturday, June 29, 2013

iPhone 5S to feature head motion tracking for enhanced accessibility [Video]

Apple?s latest major iteration of the iOS operating system will allow users to control their iDevices using their head movements alone, a newly unearthed accessibility setting reveals.

Discovered by an anonymous tipster and the demonstrated by the hard-working types at 9to5Mac (see below), the feature, called ?Switch Source? allows users to simply tilt their heads left or right to return to the home screen, activate Siri, open the Notifications Centre, increase and decrease volume and even open apps.

iOS 7 Switch Control settings screenshot

When enabled, Switch Control cycles a rectangular box over items displayed on the screen, such as app icons, which can be accessed by moving your head to the direction you?ve picked.

The feature is somewhat similar in nature to the Smart Scroll feature of the Samsung Galaxy S4, which lets users to scroll web pages and emails by tilting the handset or your head vertically. However, Apple?s take is clearly geared towards those who may be unable to use two hands, especially for a larger device like an iPad.

In addition to Switch Control, iOS 7 is also set to add smile and blink detection when taking photos, which were recently uncovered in new APIs for the platform.

It also brings a completely revamped user interface rocking a cleaner, flatter look, along with enhancements to Siri and a new feature called Control Centre that gives quick access to useful settings toggles from any screen you?re on.

iOS 7 is expected to make its official debut with the new iPhone ? unofficially dubbed the iPhone 5S - this autumn and will also be available to download for the iPhone 4/4S, iPad (3rd generation and up), iPad mini and the 5th generation iPod touch.

Stay tuned for more iPhone and iOS 7 news and announcements in the coming weeks.




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The Truth About Coffee Bean Green Extract -

This is still less than buying ground coffee at your local food store. Oz rocked the fat loss world recently by blessing claims that an extract of green coffee beans could be the silver bullet inside obesity epidemic. Generally they may be for being found in special retailers or greater amounts may be ordered on the internet.

That a feeling of satisfaction is made possible because of the realization that you simply did not ought to depend on others to make the grounds for you. And needless to say, stick to a healthy diet and workout routine. Scoop them out with a spoon, and hang up them from wax paper.

The more coffee, the greater discount or depending around the cafe, it could possibly be a buy one obtain one free special. As efas are processed swiftly, we usually lose weight quick proficiently and safely. Green vegetable extract is popular for weight loss management and controlling blood sugar levels surges that eventually turn to fat.

isnt your average cup of joe. The vastness with the market along with the specialties that every venue touts is oftentimes daunting. The actual data were inconclusive: the research gave the patients either a high dose, a lower dose or a placebo, with a 'washout period' between the doses.

There are actually some machines used because of this process. On average, the subjects lost 17 pounds each. An air roaster is pretty a bit faster along with the entire warming up process may be carried in about 2 min.

green coffee beans

The final result was typically 17 pounds lost per subject, with significantly more weight lost when using the supplement versus the placebo, and much more weight lost in the higher dose of green coffee extract than with the lower. Does the coffee antioxidant benefit everyone? Is there truly a coffee antioxidant?

Well, for people who live in certain parts of the city or nice town, you could have coffee delivery. green bean coffee. Right now, the coffees has come for the phase of Full city roast, therefore it is at first on the second crack. This really is after the soaked procedure which means color with the bean is definitely white.

Buy some ribbon to tie off the top. Again drink coffee moderately, pay attention for a own body. Exercise and good eating habits are a far better way to acquire healthy than drinking 10 cups of cappuccino a day.

About the Author:
Buddies call him Dino Foutz and he feels comfortable when people make use of the complete name.
Credit authorising is exactly what he does. Exactly what his family and him love is astrology and he would never offer it up. For a while he's been in Kansas and he doesn't thinking of changing it.He is known by the name of Neal Foutz. Iowa is where he's been living for many years. To prepare is a thing that he is completely addicted to. The job he's been occupying for years is a collection assistant.

If you are you looking for more information on green bean coffee check out


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Galaxy S4 takes the crown for fastest phone with best battery life

Samsung Galaxy S4 Speed Battery Life

Complain all you want about the Galaxy S4?s cheap-feeling plastic casing, but the device does have plenty of redeeming features that have nothing to do with its build. Popular United Kingdom-based consumer product testing website Which??over the past week has given the Galaxy S4 awards for being both the fastest smartphone and having the best battery life.

[More from BGR: Apple iOS 7 beta 3 scheduled for release on July 8th]

In terms of speed, Which? says it put all major smartphone vendors? flagship devices through its Geekbench 2 test that measures ?processor and memory performance across smartphone platforms to provide a standard speed rating.? The Galaxy S4 came out well ahead of the competition in this test, as its Geekbench score of 3188 easily bested the second-place HTC One and its score of 2798.

[More from BGR: Android 4.3 leaks for Galaxy S4, rumored to launch in July]

In terms of battery life, the Galaxy S4 scored the highest in both average call time with 1,051 minutes and average Internet use with 405 minutes.?The Galaxy S4?s strong battery life is particularly impressive given how many features Samsung has preloaded onto the device.

This article was originally published on


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Friday, June 28, 2013

Naughtmuch Directory ? Most Useful Anti Virus Software System ...

The overall false impression is if you ever utilize a totally free system, it would surely be fewer trustworthy than the usual compensated a person. Malware will routinely be dispersed on peer to see networks disguised as or concealed in genuine data files. It?s really fortunate that many anti-spyware scanning and removing instruments obtainable region in a position to identify and remove the main spyware software as well as all its embedded elements. This could make an antivirus a file destroyer, not file saver. Viruses are usually mainly challenging to eliminate from a machine as they can self-modify or improve eventually as they duplicate by themselves. The 2nd is truly an extensive stability suite of each of the firm?s safety software program. Back in 2009, the Butterfly/Palevo answers stealer/worm was powering the Mariposa threat. One additional characteristic of this malware tends to be that they are simply recognised for building backdoors (unauthorized interaction ports) from the contaminated equipment, which can be useful for assorted functions depending relating to the intentions for the hacker. Apart from becoming easy to use, this model of uninstall software has a great deal more perks to supply a pc person. When it comes to your laptop or computer and heading using the net, your essential issue will need to be selecting the foremost effective virus defense software system. They?re going to not interfere with your present or previously installed antivirus plans. If you are contaminated already or end up being so down the road, in this article are some measures to rid your technique of most types of malware. But you?ll discover eight other registry entries, which feel to ?control? the 4 dll files? ResolutionsMSP did not carry out the ?quick on-demand scan? feature as other providers have developed into their apps but I am informed by their business enhancement that they is likely to make this adjustment and launch an updated patch to all in their buyers inside of a short stretch of time. Firewalls control which programs on 1 laptop or computer can discuss to which purposes on a different home computer. even so the method you will have on your Computer is not a single thing significantly more than an imposter, that has been made to do every thing it may possibly to destroy your process. This content goes to debate a lot of the standard bug and just how it could possibly have an impact on you and your Pc. You could arrive at know about it only when your good friends notify you in regards to the e-mail. Sandbox may be a safer atmosphere where a viable malware or unidentified file may very well be analyzed and observed. AVG antivirus aid the person by featuring a holistic safety actions for protecting the computer model and peripherals from various tech damages; furthermore, it guards the pc software which if not shielded punctually towards destructive information can establish inimical to the gadget. This the web suite shields versus intrusion and facilitates parental controls to maintain the content acceptable foe all the friends and family. With virtualization software applications developers like VMware catering on the considerations of both of those cloud web hosting manufacturers as well as their customers, it isn?t that high of the hurdle. When finished, you will see a McAfee shortcut with your desktop display screen. And just as authentic everyday living spies observe the art of secrecy, it can be exceptional that you will fully grasp adware has contaminated your personal pc. Very good classroom management encourages superior amounts of scholar engaged time and right has an effect on tutorial figuring out. The updates to firewall software system guarantee that it is equipped to offer safety choices in the direction of the most up-to-date malware and threats acquiring unleashed these days. If you decide to would love to stop most of these obstacles, there are many items you are able to do. Within the digital, connected entire world of in the present day, as a lot of our skilled and personal lives developed into a great deal more and more dependent on desktops and networks, the need to guard your knowledge and identification accompanied by a brilliant stability software applications serves as a no-brainer.

Best Antivirus Applications For Social Networking Threats can present you with optimum data for Right Anti Virus Computer Software Product Reviews ? Anti Spyware Scanner Virus Scan. Be sure to check out the article for more details!


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NASA's Voyager 1 explores final frontier of our 'solar bubble'

June 27, 2013 ? Data from Voyager 1, now more than 11 billion miles (18 billion kilometers) from the sun, suggest the spacecraft is closer to becoming the first human-made object to reach interstellar space.

Research using Voyager 1 data and published in the journal Science today provides new detail on the last region the spacecraft will cross before it leaves the heliosphere, or the bubble around our sun, and enters interstellar space. Three papers describe how Voyager 1's entry into a region called the magnetic highway resulted in simultaneous observations of the highest rate so far of charged particles from outside heliosphere and the disappearance of charged particles from inside the heliosphere.

Scientists have seen two of the three signs of interstellar arrival they expected to see: charged particles disappearing as they zoom out along the solar magnetic field, and cosmic rays from far outside zooming in. Scientists have not yet seen the third sign, an abrupt change in the direction of the magnetic field, which would indicate the presence of the interstellar magnetic field.

"This strange, last region before interstellar space is coming into focus, thanks to Voyager 1, humankind's most distant scout," said Ed Stone, Voyager project scientist at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena. "If you looked at the cosmic ray and energetic particle data in isolation, you might think Voyager had reached interstellar space, but the team feels Voyager 1 has not yet gotten there because we are still within the domain of the sun's magnetic field."

Scientists do not know exactly how far Voyager 1 has to go to reach interstellar space. They estimate it could take several more months, or even years, to get there. The heliosphere extends at least 8 billion miles (13 billion kilometers) beyond all the planets in our solar system. It is dominated by the sun's magnetic field and an ionized wind expanding outward from the sun. Outside the heliosphere, interstellar space is filled with matter from other stars and the magnetic field present in the nearby region of the Milky Way.

Voyager 1 and its twin spacecraft, Voyager 2, were launched in 1977. They toured Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune before embarking on their interstellar mission in 1990. They now aim to leave the heliosphere. Measuring the size of the heliosphere is part of the Voyagers' mission.

The Science papers focus on observations made from May to September 2012 by Voyager 1's cosmic ray, low-energy charged particle and magnetometer instruments, with some additional charged particle data obtained through April of this year.

Voyager 2 is about 9 billion miles (15 billion kilometers) from the sun and still inside the heliosphere. Voyager 1 was about 11 billion miles (18 billion kilometers) from the sun Aug. 25 when it reached the magnetic highway, also known as the depletion region, and a connection to interstellar space. This region allows charged particles to travel into and out of the heliosphere along a smooth magnetic field line, instead of bouncing around in all directions as if trapped on local roads. For the first time in this region, scientists could detect low-energy cosmic rays that originate from dying stars.

"We saw a dramatic and rapid disappearance of the solar-originating particles. They decreased in intensity by more than 1,000 times, as if there was a huge vacuum pump at the entrance ramp onto the magnetic highway," said Stamatios Krimigis, the low-energy charged particle instrument's principal investigator at the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory in Laurel, Md. "We have never witnessed such a decrease before, except when Voyager 1 exited the giant magnetosphere of Jupiter, some 34 years ago."

Other charged particle behavior observed by Voyager 1 also indicates the spacecraft still is in a region of transition to the interstellar medium. While crossing into the new region, the charged particles originating from the heliosphere that decreased most quickly were those shooting straightest along solar magnetic field lines. Particles moving perpendicular to the magnetic field did not decrease as quickly. However, cosmic rays moving along the field lines in the magnetic highway region were somewhat more populous than those moving perpendicular to the field. In interstellar space, the direction of the moving charged particles is not expected to matter.

In the span of about 24 hours, the magnetic field originating from the sun also began piling up, like cars backed up on a freeway exit ramp. But scientists were able to quantify that the magnetic field barely changed direction -- by no more than 2 degrees.

"A day made such a difference in this region with the magnetic field suddenly doubling and becoming extraordinarily smooth," said Leonard Burlaga, the lead author of one of the papers, and based at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md. "But since there was no significant change in the magnetic field direction, we're still observing the field lines originating at the sun."

NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, in Pasadena, Calif., built and operates the Voyager spacecraft. California Institute of Technology in Pasadena manages JPL for NASA. The Voyager missions are a part of NASA's Heliophysics System Observatory, sponsored by the Heliophysics Division of the Science Mission Directorate at NASA Headquarters in Washington.

For more information about the Voyager spacecraft mission, visit: and .


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Sony RX100 II: A Totally New Sensor, a More Perfect Point-and-Shoot

Sony RX100 II: A Totally New Sensor, a More Perfect Point-and-Shoot

Last year, Sony overhauled basically its entire line of cameras from the very bottom to tippiest top. Surprisingly, the most exciting of the bunch weren't mirrorless cameras or DSLRs, but fixed-lens Cyber-shots: The RX100, a point-and-shoot superior to all others, and the RX1, a compact full-frame sensor camera priced for professionals. Now Sony's expanding on its successes with some well-considered fine-tuning on both models.

What we're looking at here are the Sony Cyber-shot RX100 II (or M2), which at $750 will cost $100 more than the RX100, the and the Sony Cyber-shot RX1R, which at $2800 costs exactly the same as the RX1. Both are available for pre-order using the links above. The older cameras will remain in the line as before.

At a glance, the modifications from one generation to the next might seem minor. Many of the key specs we're used to reciting don't seem to change.These are hardly tweaks?they're big changes. More detailed specs are listed below, but there's too much good stuff to mention all the carry-over from before.

Sony Cyber-shot RX100 II

Sony RX100 II: A Totally New Sensor, a More Perfect Point-and-Shoot

The key differences between the RX100 and RX100 II are a completely new 1-inch Exmor R image sensor, Wi-Fi and NFC connectivity, as well as a new tilting three-inch LCD display and a new hot shoe.

The former two additions result in visible cosmetic differences to the camera. The tiling LCD adds only slight thickness to the RX100's body but makes it easier to see the screen in certain siutations. Don't worry, This remains the same awesome pocketable shooter as before. Same super-fast f/2 lens.

Sony RX100 II: A Totally New Sensor, a More Perfect Point-and-Shoot

Sony also added a "multi-interface shoe" on top for attaching external flashes other accessories to the camera.

The new Exmor R sensor is a lovely example of "trickle-up" technology. Exmor R sensors are "back-illuminated", which basically means the traditional sensor architecture has been reworked so that the electronics sit behind the photo-sensitive diodes, allowing more surface area for actually capturing light.

Until now, the Exmor R design has been used only for small sensors in smartphones and junky point-and-shoots because Sony just couldn't figure out how to manufacture these sensors larger. Until now. This one-inch sensor is a first, and Sony claims it'll be up-to 40-times more light sensitive that the RX100's one-inchers. That's impressive.

There are no surprises about the camera's Wi-Fi sharing capabilities, but it's a nice addition to an already loaded camera. This NFC chip inside, however is new, and enables touch sharing between compatible devices, which actually sounds like a brilliant idea.

The main issue we might take with this camera is price. $650 was already a lot of money to pay for a point-and-shoot camera targeted mostly at a mainstream audience. But $750? Sheesh. Most of the cameras you'd consider competitors?like the Canon S110?are priced under $500

? Sensor: 20.2 MP, 1-inch Exmor R CMOS
? Processor: Sony BIONZ
? ISO Range: 100-25600
? Lens: Carl Zeiss 28-100 (3.6) f/1.8
? Display: 1.2 million-dot fixed LCD
? Video: 1920 x 1080 (60, 24 fps), 1440 x 1080 (30 fps), 1280 x 720 (30 fps), 640 x 480 (30 fps)
? Price: $750

Sony Cyber-shot RX1R

Sony RX100 II: A Totally New Sensor, a More Perfect Point-and-Shoot

The RX1, was a superbly awesome camera that no-normal soul can afford. The image quality is unrivaled by a camera that size, but at the same time, the fixed focal-length f/2 lens that makes the compact size possible is also quite a limitation. The RX1R option is really a modified version of the former with no optical low-pass filter, which is exactly the kind of change people interested in this camera might consider important.

Without getting to far into the science, cameras use low-pass filters to avoid ripply moire patterns and other distortions that might occur because of the patterned design of image sensors. These days, though, many manufacturers are confident enough in their camera designs to leave the low-pass filter on.

What's the difference you say? Well, when you're using a professional full-frame image sensor like the one in the RX1, pixel peepers will point out that a low-pass filter keeps a sensor from realizing the true potential of its resolution. And sure enough, Sony showed us samples taken with both the RX1 and RX1R, and the new model had better details in some intense situations.

The only cosmetic change you'll notice between the older and newer cameras is the addition of an "R" to the name stamped on the front of its glorious body.

Sony Cyber-shot Rx1R

? Sensor: 24 MP, full-frame Exmor CMOS
? Processor: Sony BIONZ
? ISO Range: 100-25600
? Lens: Carl Zeiss 35mm f/2
? Display: 1.2 million-dot fixed LCD
? Video: 1920 x 1080 (60, 50, 25, 24 fps), 1440 x 1080 (30, 25 fps), 1280 x 720 (30 fps), 640 x 480 (30, 25 fps)
? Price: $2800


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Thursday, June 27, 2013

Weddings Used To Be Sacred And Other Lessons About Internet Journalism

wedding photoEditor's note: Sean Parker is the executive general partner at Founder's Fund. Previously he was co-founder of Napster and the founding president of Facebook. He currently serves as a director of Spotify. My wife and I met 5 years ago and almost immediately began fantasizing about having a wedding in an enchanted forest. But life rarely works out the way it does in fairy tales.


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The Challenges of Living Longer

Thanks to advances in medical technology and a thriving society, Americans can now look forward to living much longer than ever before. In the early 1900s, average U.S. life expectancy was around 45-50 years; today, Americans who are alive at age 65 can expect to live, on average, another twenty years. 1

These numbers should make us all very happy, yet they also present some challenges. In addition to living longer, Americans have been retiring earlier than before. The average retirement age has dropped from 68 in 1950 to 62 in 2000. As a result, many Americans are now spending more than a quarter of their lives in retirement, and their retirement income is often insufficient to get them through these ?extra? years. 2

Retirement planning is no easy task. It is difficult to know exactly how much we should be saving for retirement and how we should allocate our current investments to ensure we will be financially safe in the future. Despite the wide availability of retirement planning advice and information, most people have trouble thinking through these issues. In addition to these financial knowledge barriers, there are also psychological barriers that stand in the way of being prepared for those extra years. The most critical one is our inability to plan for the distant, long-term future. Research from both the fields of psychology and economics suggests that people care more about present outcomes than they do about future ones, a tendency called temporal discounting. 3

There are two main factors that contribute to this tendency. First, present rewards trigger stronger emotional reactions than do future ones. This tendency was powerfully illustrated in a series of experiments conducted with children. 4 Researchers wanted to know what might motivate children to wait patiently for a potential reward?namely, a marshmallow sitting on a table in front of them. Children who were asked to think about the informative properties of the reward?namely, the marshmallow?s color or shape?were more likely to wait for it than were children who were asked to think about potentially arousing properties of the marshmallow, such as its taste. Second, we mispredict how we might feel in the future if certain events were to transpire. 5 Specifically, we tend to overestimate how good a positive outcome, such as winning the lottery, will make us feel, and also overestimate how bad a negative outcome, such as not being promoted, will make us feel. These tendencies make it difficult for us to make good decisions about the distant future.

Despite significant psychological barriers to saving for the future, related work gives us important insights on how to combat these problems. Two lines of research have identified interventions that are particularly compelling.The first one involves changing the default for retirement plans, such that employees are automatically enrolled and must actively opt out if they so choose (as opposed to the typical plan, where employees must opt in to join a plan). This subtle intervention is effective because it involves no effort on employees? part to join the plan. Thanks to this intervention, many organizations have witnessed large increases in the rate of participation of their employees in retirement plans. In 2004, Benartzi and Shlomo took this intervention a step forward by releasing a program called SMarT (Save More Tomorrow). Under this plan, employees? contributions to their 401(k) plan increase automatically every year, in accordance with their salary increases. As a result, employees? savings go up without affecting their take-home pay. The first organization that adopted this new program saw a dramatic increase in savings for employees who participated: from 3.5 to 13.6 percent over four years. Over 50 percent of the retirement plans in the United States now use automatic escalation, and annual retirement savings increased by $7.4 billion during this time. 6

This first intervention is in the hands of our employers, but a second intervention is under our control. It consists of trying to imagine your future self. Recent research demonstrated the benefits of this simple intervention by asking two groups of students to interact with realistic computer renderings of themselves. One group only saw images of themselves at their current age. The other group saw some additional images: age-morphed versions of how they might look by the time they retire. All participants were then asked how much they would save for retirement. Those who saw a picture of their older selves indicated they would save twice as much as those who saw a picture of their current selves. These findings are already affecting employees? long-term financial planning. 7 The expectation is that employees? savings decisions will be influenced by this glimpse of their future selves. Even if such software is not available to you, picturing your ?future you? seems to be a good first step to assure our decisions are not too present focused.

Could understanding our behaviors hold the key to financial security? We think so. Learn More at The Challenge Lab.


  1. Arias, E. 2007.United States life tables, 2004.Natl. Vital Stat. Rep. 56: 1?40.
    Carstensen, L.L. 2009. A Long Bright Future: An Action Plan for a Lifetime of Happiness, Health, and Financial Security. Random House. New York, NY.
    Shultz, G.P. & J.B. Shoven. 2008. Putting Our House in Order: A Guide to Social Secruity and Heal Care Reform. W.W. Norton & Company, Inc. New York, NY.
    McKinsey Global Institute. 2008. Talkin? ?Bout My Generation: The Economic Impact of Aging U.S. Baby Boomers. McKinsey & Co. San Francisco, CA.
  2. OECD. 2011. Pensions at aGlance 2011: Retirement-Income Systems in OECD and G20 Countries., Vol. 2011.?
  3. Chapman, G.B. 1996. Temporal discounting and utility for health and money. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Learning, Memory, and Cognition, 22: 771?791.
    Lynch, J.G. & G. Zuberman. 2006. When do you want it? Time, decisions, and public policy. Journal of Public Policy Marketing, 25: 67?78.
    Choi, J.J., D. Laibson & B.C. Madrian (2011). $100 bills on the sidewalk: suboptimal investment in 401(k) plans. Review of Economics and Statistics, 93: 748?763.
  4. Mischel, W., E.B. Ebbesen & A. Raskoff Zeiss. 1972. Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 21: 204?218.
    Mischel, W. 1974. Processes in delay of gratification. In Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. Vol. 7. L. Berkowitz, Ed.: 249?292. Academic Press. New York.
    Mischel, W., Y. Shoda & M.L. Rodriguez. 1989. Delay of gratification in children. Science 244: 933?938.
  5. Wilson, T.D. & D.T. Gilbert. 2003. Affective forecasting. In Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 35. M.P. Zanna, Ed.: 345?411. Academic Press. San Diego.
    Gilbert, D.T., et al. 1998. Immune neglect: a source of durability bias in affective forecasting. J. Pers. Soc. Psychol. 75: 617?638.
    Gilbert,D.T. &T.D.Wilson. 2007. Prospection: experiencing the future. Science 317: 1351?1354.
  6. Thaler, R.H. & S. Benartzi. 2004. Save More Tomorrow (TM): using behavioral economics to increase employee saving. J. Polit. Economy 112: S164?S187.
    Shlomo Benartzi and Richard H. Thaler, ?Behavioral Economics and the Retirement Savings Crisis? Science Magazine, Vol 339, March 8, 2013.
  7. Hershfield, H.E., Goldstein, D.G., Sharpe, W.F., Fox, J., Yeykelvis, L., Carstensen, L.L., & Bailenson, J. (2011). Increasing saving behavior through age-progressed renderings of the future self. Journal of Marketing Research, 48, S23-S27.


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Improve Concentration At Work: 13 Ways To Focus On The Job

  • 1. Prioritize Tasks

    You can improve your focus by tackling the big jobs first and leaving the small stuff till later. Make a list of what tasks are the most important. Your ?A List? might include anything with a deadline of today or tomorrow. The ?B List? would consist of projects needing to be completed next week, while the ?C List? catches loose ends like checking your email. ?If you fail to prioritize tasks, this can lead to organizational and distractibility issues,? says Simon Rego, PsyD, director of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Training Program at Montefiore Medical Center and Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City.

  • 2. Corral Your Email

    Even the most focused individuals can quickly be led astray by the incessant ping-ping-ping of incoming emails. But if a person is already prone to distraction, these incoming signals can derail the whole day. Rather than read email as it comes in all day and night, set aside specific periods of time to do this. ?Most patients find this very useful because we?re almost slaves to always having to be available to emails and phone calls,? says David Loewenstein, PhD, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine.

  • 3. Limit Other Distractions

    Persistent voice mails, the 24/7 availability of the Internet, and even casual conversations outside your office can drive you to distraction and away from the work at hand. As with emails, set aside specific times to check and answer voice mail messages. And depending upon what project is the most pressing, you may even consider turning off your computer to eliminate the endless allure of the world wide web. ?If you don?t turn your computer on, you don?t get distracted,? Rego says.

  • 4. Break It Into Bite-Size Chunks

    If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, this may well be because you?re taking on too much at one time. ?If you feel stressed or anxious, you can assume whatever task is making you feel (this way) is too big,? Rego says. ?Therefore smash it into smaller, more manageable bits.? If you?re anxious about needing to write something before the end of the week, break it down so that you feel more focused. Set realistic goals one day at a time or even one hour at a time.

  • 5. Work In The Same Location

    Working at Starbuck?s one day, the library another and your home office yet another will make you super-vulnerable to distracting external stimuli, says Rego. But if you habituate yourself to one place, your mind gets used to the area and can rev up to actually make you want to work. ?Being consistent in your environment and trying to work in the same place at the same time increases your natural tendency to do work in that area,? Rego says.

  • 6. Find A Quiet Place To Work

    The ideal would be to have a private office with a door but this isn?t always realistic in today?s world of Dilbert-like cubicles. If your boss isn?t open to giving you your own office, there are ways to minimize distractions even in a small cubicle. If you have to share your space, try to share it with someone who does more computer work than phone work and ask he or she to conduct meetings in other, more open spaces.

  • 7. Set A Timer

    Setting a timer to go off at certain intervals can help bring a wandering mind back to the task at hand. ?Have it go off as a cue to ask, ?Is what I?m doing right now one of my important A-List items? Am I on task??? says Rego. If you?re off task, this is a reminder to get back to what you were doing. You can also use a timer to try to gradually extend your attention span, from 10 minutes one week to 12 the next and 14 the next.

  • 8. Declutter Your Workspace

    Having a neat, clean work space can help improve organization and focus, but be aware that moving items around on your desk can be a double-edged sword. When cleaning your desk suddenly becomes a priority even with other deadlines looming, that could mean trouble. ?If all of a sudden it?s so important to clean [your] desk, that could be a red herring,? says Rego. ?Call it for what it is ... Be honest with yourself. What is the function of what [you?re] doing right now.?

  • 9. Plan Your Days

    Many people with ADHD find they are more efficient and productive if they use a day planner or a personal digital assistant (PDA). A compact PDA is especially useful because it can be carried with you and programmed to send messages and reminders, perhaps a 30-minute ?warning? bell before an upcoming meeting. That way you can make sure you?re prepared and on time. ?You will always have cues that will orient you,? Loewenstein says.

  • 10. Use Relaxation Techniques

    ?If you have ADHD and are impulsive or distracted, that can become even greater if you are under stress,? says Loewenstein. That?s why it?s so important to take breaks where you can relax, be it just deep breathing, meditation or working with imagery. ?These things will help get people into a very focused state,? says Loewenstein. This way, you can get a sense that everything is not equally urgent and take the time to reassess. Do you need to finish this job now or can it wait? ?It gives people a chance to recalibrate,? he says.

  • 11. Take Notes

    Taking notes in a meeting or while you?re on the phone can help you remember items later. You can also use the notes to highlight new items for your A, B and C lists. And there?s another advantage. ?If you have problems processing auditory information in a meeting and become distracted, taking notes is great because you?re processing in another modality,? says Loewenstein.

  • 12. Maintain A Routine

    ?In general, anything that you can routinize that you know you have to do and it becomes overlearned is very, very good,? Loewenstein says. If ?you?re constantly losing things, that just puts added pressure on your life.? This could be something as simple as putting your house and car keys in the same place every day so you don?t screw up your whole day. ?That?s one less thing that can go wrong,? says Loewenstein.The same goes for your organizer, notebooks, pens and briefcase.

  • 13. Surround Yourself With Organized People

    Many successful people with ADHD have one thing in common: They?ve set up the right supports. That means getting really ?together? people around you. ?If you?re a business person, you have to make sure you?re surrounding yourself with people who are really well organized and who like to organize the day,? says Loewenstein. ?Getting the right people around you, particularly if you?re in an executive position, is absolutely invaluable.?

  • Source:

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    Wednesday, June 26, 2013

    'How NCC'll execute broadband plan with CTO' - Vanguard News

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    NFL Players React On Twitter To Arrest Of Aaron Hernandez (TWEETS)

    The arrest of Aaron Hernandez at his home on Wednesday morning sent shockwaves through the NFL community. The 23-year-old tight end was removed from his home in handcuffs by police and then soon released by the New England Patriots.

    Former Patriots defensive tackle Kyle Love was among the first players to share a reaction to the news. Love and Hernandez were both rookies with the Patriots during the 2010 season. Love was released by the Patriots in May. He was then claimed off waivers by the Jaguars.

    After sending those two tweets in quick succession, Love would send another tweet acknowledging that Hernandez wasn't the only person impacted.

    With no charges initially announced by police, several NFL players seemed to be expressing concern for Hernandez as well as for the family of Odin Lloyd, the 27-year-old semi-pro football player who was found dead near the home of the former Patriots' star last week.

    Here are more reactions of NFL players to the arrest of Hernandez:

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    10 things you need to know today: June 26, 2013

    The Supreme Court invalidates a key part of the Voting Rights Act, Obama spells out his plan to fight climate change, and more

    The Supreme Court on Tuesday struck down a key part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. In a 5-4 ruling, the court's conservative majority said Congress must update the section of the law that requires states with a history of discrimination to get Justice Department approval before changing their voting laws. Proponents of the provision, which recently blocked voter ID laws in Texas and South Carolina, said a bitterly divided Congress will never agree on how to restore it. [Washington Post]

    A Texas abortion bill, one of the toughest in the nation, failed late Tuesday after a confusing stand-off. Republicans managed to bring the bill to a vote after an epic, 10-hour filibuster by Democrat Wendy Davis. It appeared to have passed 19 to 10, but Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, the presiding officer of the Senate, said "an unruly mob using Occupy Wall Street tactics" had made it impossible for authorities to make the vote official before midnight, when the legislative session ended. [New York Times]

    SEE ALSO: Wendy Davis' stunning filibuster of a Texas abortion bill

    President Obama unveiled his new plan to fight climate change in a speech at Georgetown University on Tuesday. The president, looking to revive his climate agenda by side-stepping Congress, promised to use his own authority and the EPA's regulatory powers to impose new rules to cut carbon emissions from U.S. power plants and increase support for renewable energy. "This is a challenge that doesn't pause for partisan gridlock," Obama said. "It demands our attention now." [Reuters]

    Rep. Ed Markey, a Democrat, won a special election Tuesday to fill the Senate seat of John Kerry, who became secretary of State in February. Markey defeated Gabriel Gomez, who was hoping for an upset like the one his fellow Republican Scott Brown pulled off in 2010 by winning a special election to fill the late Ted Kennedy's seat. Markey, however, wasn't just a popular Democrat in a heavily Democratic state ? he also out-spent Gomez, $8.6 million to $2.3 million. [USA Today]

    SEE ALSO: An everyman's guide for going invisible on the internet

    Russian President Vladimir Putin confirmed Tuesday that fugitive NSA leaker Edward Snowden was hanging out in the international transit section of a Moscow airport after leaving Hong Kong. Putin dismissed as "drivel" American demands that Russia send Snowden to the U.S. to face espionage charges, saying Russia had no grounds to extradite him. Snowden "is a free man," Putin said, "and the sooner he selects his final destination, the better it will be both for us and for him." [Bloomberg]

    Kevin Rudd won back his old job as prime minister of Australia on Wednesday. Rudd handily defeated outgoing leader Julia Gillard. Gillard led a 2010 revolt to oust Rudd, but her leadership had come under fire recently. Gillard called a leadership vote among lawmakers of the ruling Labor party to settle a long-running debate over whether she or Rudd was better suited to lead Labor into September elections, in which polls suggest the party faces a landslide defeat. [Wall Street Journal]

    SEE ALSO: 4 secret societies you probably don't know about

    A leading South African cleric, Cape Town Anglican Archbishop Thabo Makgoba, joined Nelson Mandela's family members in a Pretoria hospital Tuesday and prayed for the ailing, 94-year-old anti-Apartheid icon, who slipped into critical condition recently with a recurring lung infection. In a prayer that echoed the nation's resignation that the revered former president is near death, the archbishop posted a prayer on Facebook asking for Mandela to have "a peaceful, perfect, end." [Telegraph]

    Supporters and opponents of gay marriage braced for potentially game-changing rulings from the Supreme Court on Wednesday. The court heard arguments on two same-sex marriage cases ? one a challenge to California's gay-marriage ban, Prop. 8. The ruling in that case has several potential outcomes. The court could establish gay marriage as a constitutionally protected right or uphold the ban, setting back the gay marriage movement. It could also punt, and dismiss the case. [CBS News]

    SEE ALSO: Why most Americans hate their jobs (or are just 'checked out')

    Brazil's Congress handed two significant victories to protesters who have filled the streets of the South American nation's biggest cities recently, demanding more public services and less corruption. Lawmakers on Tuesday rejected a proposed constitutional amendment that would have limited the power of prosecutors, potentially increasing corruption. Congress also agreed to dedicate all royalties from vast newly discovered undersea oil fields for education and health. [BBC News]

    The Army's chief of staff, Gen. Ray Odierno, said Tuesday that the Army would reduce active-duty troops by 80,000 ? to 490,000 ? over the next five years. The scaling down, following withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan and $487 billion in military spending cuts over a decade, will amount to the military's biggest organizational change since World War II. [New York Times]

    SEE ALSO: How typeface influences the way we read and think

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    Xbox One: chat headset not included

    Xbox One doesn't include headset

    Today Microsoft confirmed another disappointing detail about the Xbox One's launch -- unlike the Xbox 360 Pro SKU, it won't pack a chat headset in the box. In a statement to Ars Technica, the company extols the virtues of Kinect 2.0 and its multi-array microphones for chat across games, Skype and "other experiences." Chatting with the Xbox 360's Kinect introduces a multitude of issues like echoes and the device taking conversation as system commands. To replace even a cheap headset, Kinect 2.0 will need to be a massive upgrade. This seems odd considering Microsoft included headsets with almost everything since the original Xbox Live kits. However, The House That Gates Built isn't the only one breaking tradition: Sony's including a single earbud-and-mic headset with each $100-cheaper PS4. Shots fired?

    Filed under: ,


    Via: Joystiq

    Source: Ars Technica


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    Tuesday, June 25, 2013

    Texas Lawmaker in 13 Hour Speech to Block Abortion Bill (Taegan Goddard's Political Wire)

    Share With Friends: Share on FacebookTweet ThisPost to Google-BuzzSend on GmailPost to Linked-InSubscribe to This Feed | Rss To Twitter | Politics - Top Stories Stories, RSS and RSS Feed via Feedzilla.


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    Documents show IRS also screened liberal groups

    WASHINGTON (AP) ? The Internal Revenue Service's screening of groups seeking tax-exempt status was broader and lasted longer than has been previously disclosed, the new head of the agency acknowledged Monday. Terms including "Israel," ''Progressive" and "Occupy" were used by agency workers to help pick groups for closer examination, according to an internal IRS document obtained by The Associated Press.

    The IRS has been under fire since last month after admitting it targeted tea party and other conservative groups that wanted the tax-exempt designation for tough examinations. While investigators have said that agency screening for those groups had stopped in May 2012, Monday's revelations made it clear that screening for other kinds of organizations continued until earlier this month, when the agency's new chief, Danny Werfel, says he discovered it and ordered it halted.

    The IRS document said an investigation into why specific terms were included was still underway. It blamed the continued use of inappropriate criteria by screeners on "a lapse in judgment" by the agency's former top officials. The document did not name the officials, but many top leaders have been replaced.

    Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee released 15 lists of terms that the IRS agency used and has provided to congressional investigators. Some of the lists, which evolved over time, used the terms "Progressive" and "Tea Party" and others including "Medical Marijuana," ''Occupied Territory Advocacy," ''Healthcare legislation," ''Newspaper Entities" and "Paying National Debt."

    The lists were dated between August 2010 and April 2013 ? the month before the IRS targeting of conservative groups was revealed. They ranged from 11 pages to 17 pages but were heavily blacked out to protect sensitive taxpayer information.

    Neither the IRS document obtained by the AP or the 15 IRS lists of terms addressed how many progressive groups received close scrutiny or how the agency treated their requests. Dozens of conservative groups saw their applications experience lengthy delays, and they received unusually intrusive questions about their donors and other details that agency officials have conceded were inappropriate.

    In a conference call with reporters, Werfel said that after becoming acting IRS chief last month, he discovered varied and improper terms on the lists and said screeners were still using them.

    He did not specify what terms were on the lists, but said he suspended the use of all such lists immediately. Lists from April 2013 that were released included the terms "Paying National Debt" and "Green Energy Organizations."

    "There was a wide-ranging set of categories and cases that spanned a broad spectrum" on the lists, Werfel said. He added that his aides found those lists contained "inappropriate criteria that was in use."

    Werfel ordered a halt in the use of spreadsheets listing the terms ? called BOLO lists for "be on the lookout for? on June 12 and formalized their suspension with a June 20 written order, according to the IRS document the AP obtained. Investigators have previously said that the lists evolved over time as screeners found new names and phrases to help them identify groups to examine.

    Democrats on the House Ways and Means Committee released one of the lists, dated November 2010, that the IRS has provided to congressional investigators. That 16-page document, with many parts blacked out, shows that the terms "Progressive" and "Tea Party" were both on that list, as well as "Medical Marijuana," ''occupied territory advocacy" and "Healthcare legislation."

    Rep. Sander Levin of Michigan, top Democrat on the Ways and Means panel, said he was writing a letter to J. Russell George, the Treasury Department inspector general whose audit in May detailed IRS targeting of conservatives, asking why his report did not mention other groups that were targeted.

    "The audit served as the basis and impetus for a wide range of congressional investigations and this new information shows that the foundation of those investigations is flawed in a fundamental way," Levin said.

    Republicans said there was a distinction. A statement by the GOP staff of House Ways and Means said, "It is one thing to flag a group, it is quite another to repeatedly target and abuse conservative groups."

    George's report criticized the IRS for using "inappropriate criteria" to identify tea party and other conservative groups. It did not mention more liberal organizations, but in response to questions from lawmakers at congressional hearings, George said he had recently found other lists that raised concerns about other "political factors" he did not specify.

    On Monday, Karen Kraushaar, a spokeswoman for the inspector general, said their May audit focused on terms the IRS used to pick cases to be studied for political campaign activity, which might disqualify a group from tax-exempt status.

    She said the inspector general has since found other "criteria" the agency used to list potential cases, and "we are reviewing whether these criteria led to expanded scrutiny for other reasons and why these criteria were implemented."

    Democratic staff on Ways and Means said in a press release that they had verified that of the 298 groups seeking tax-exempt status that George's audit had examined, some were liberal organizations ? something George's report did not mention.

    Many organizations seeking tax-exempt designation were applying for so-called 501(c)(4) status, named for its section of the federal revenue code. IRS regulations allow that status for groups mostly involved in "social welfare" and that don't engage in election campaigns for or against candidates as their "primary" activity, and it is up to the IRS to judge whether applicants meet those vaguely defined requirements.

    Werfel's remarks came as he released an 83-page examination he has conducted of his embattled agency. The conclusions, which Werfel cautioned are preliminary, have so far found there was "insufficient action" by IRS managers to prevent and disclose the problem involving the screening of certain groups, but no specific clues of misconduct.

    "We have not found evidence of intentional wrongdoing by anyone in the IRS or involvement in these matters by anyone outside the IRS," he told reporters.

    The report found no indication so far of improper screening beyond the IRS offices, mostly in Cincinnati, that examine groups seeking tax-exempt status.

    Werfel's report describes several new procedures the agency is installing to prevent unfair treatment of taxpayers in the future. They include a fast-track process for groups seeking tax-exempt status that have yet to get a response from the IRS within 120 days of applying. He is also creating an Accountability Review Board, which within 60 days is supposed to recommend any additional personnel moves "to hold accountable those responsible" for the targeting of conservative groups, Werfel's report said.

    The top five people in the agency responsible for the tax-exempt status of organizations have already been removed, including the former acting commissioner, Steven Miller, whom President Barack Obama replaced with Werfel.

    "The IRS is committed to correcting its mistakes, holding individuals accountable as appropriate" and establishing new controls to reduce potential future problems, Werfel told reporters.

    IRS screening of conservative groups had sparked investigations by three congressional committees, the Justice Department and a Treasury Department inspector general.

    Werfel's comments and report drew negative reviews from one of the IRS's chief critics in Congress, Rep. Darrell Issa, R-Calif., chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.

    Issa said the review "fails to meaningfully answer the largest outstanding questions about inappropriate inquiries and indefensible delays. As investigations by Congress and the Justice Department are still ongoing, Mr. Werfel's assertion that he has found no evidence that anyone at IRS intentionally did anything wrong can only be called premature."

    House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp, R-Mich., whose panel is also investigating the agency, said the IRS "still needs to provide clear answers to the most significant questions ? who started this practice, why was it allowed to continue for so long, and how widespread was it? This culture of political discrimination and intimidation goes far beyond basic management failure and personnel changes alone won't fix a broken IRS."

    Werfel had promised to produce a report within a month of taking over the agency.

    Werfel said he briefed Obama and Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew on the report earlier Monday.

    Werfel, initially named the IRS's acting commissioner, is now the agency's deputy principal commissioner because federal law limits the time an agency can be led by an acting official.


    Associated Press writers Stephen Ohlemacher and Henry C. Jackson contributed to this report.


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    We're Hiring a Deal Master

    We're Hiring a Deal Master

    Gawker Media is hiring a tech writer to be Gizmodo's new Dealzmaster (or commerce specialist). That means we're looking for someone to write and curate Dealzmodo.




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    Monday, June 24, 2013

    Mumford & Sons announce rescheduled tour dates

    FILE - This Feb. 10, 2013 file photo shows, from left, Marcus Mumford, Ben Lovett, Country Winston and Ted Dwane, of Mumford & Sons, at the 55th annual Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. The Grammy-winning band announced Monday, June 24, rescheduled dates in Dallas, Woodlands, New Orleans and Kansas City. The upcoming shows will include bassist Ted Dwane, who received treatment for a blood clot on his brain two weeks ago. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP, file)

    FILE - This Feb. 10, 2013 file photo shows, from left, Marcus Mumford, Ben Lovett, Country Winston and Ted Dwane, of Mumford & Sons, at the 55th annual Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. The Grammy-winning band announced Monday, June 24, rescheduled dates in Dallas, Woodlands, New Orleans and Kansas City. The upcoming shows will include bassist Ted Dwane, who received treatment for a blood clot on his brain two weeks ago. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP, file)

    (AP) ? Mumford & Sons are heading back on tour.

    The Grammy-winning band announced Monday that it has rescheduled dates in Dallas; Woodlands, Texas; and New Orleans. The upcoming shows will include bassist Ted Dwane, who received treatment for a blood clot on his brain two weeks ago. The band postponed shows as a result, including a headlining gig at the Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival.

    The foursome's "The Full English Tour" will begin Aug. 26 in Toronto. It wraps Sept. 20 in Bonner Springs, Kan. Other stops include Milwaukee, Atlanta and Simpsonville, S.C.

    The folk-rock band's sophomore album, "Babel," won album of the year at this year's Grammy Awards.



    Associated Press


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    Carole Brody Fleet: The Changing Face Of The Widowed: What DO Widowed Really Look Like?

    When someone says the word "widowed" to you, what is the first image that enters your mind? If referring to a widowed woman, chances are the image is of someone in her golden years who is perennially dressed in black. Similarly, a widower is also thought of as one who is somewhat older and likely looking for a new wife approximately 20 minutes after his beloved has passed away.

    Even though stereotypes exist because on some level they are based in fact, the reality is that the image of the widowed must be broadened and it must be broadened dramatically. How do I know? Because I, along with millions of others in the widowed community have heard the following phrases too many times to count:

    **"You're too young to be a widow".
    **"How can you be widowed?"
    **"You're a widow? REALLY? Stay away from me!" (usually said while making a cross with two fingers)
    **"You're widowed? You sure don't look like it".

    Phrases like these (and many more like them) made me ask at long last:

    What do widowed really look like to the world at large?

    In my continuing quest to break the stereotype of how the widowed are viewed, allow me to introduce you to this wonderful community as entirely and as all-inclusively as is possible:

    We are not the image of widowed that the world purports us to be.
    No widowed look exactly the same.
    No widowhood looks exactly the same.
    Therefore, no healing journey or healing timeline is exactly the same.

    There is no "minimum age requirement" involved with widowhood.
    Widowhood does not discriminate and is arbitrary in its attack.
    Our beloveds were lost suddenly.
    Our beloveds died after the ravages of long-term illness or infirmity.
    Yes, we have many older widowed sisters and brothers in our community...
    But not all widowed were married for many decades.
    Not all widowed see twilight years with their spouses.

    We come from both genders, in all age groups and from all walks.
    We are opposite-sex spouses and we are same-sex spouses.
    We were engaged and death stole our beloved away before we had the opportunity to walk down an aisle.
    We were in long-term relationships that people around us easily dismiss; stating that it should be "easier" for us to get over the death of our beloveds because we "weren't really a couple".

    We have adult children.
    We have young children.
    We were left pregnant.
    We never had the chance to have children at all.

    We are retired from the workplace
    We are still in the workplace and must return to work while still in the midst of grieving.
    We are faced with returning to the workplace after staying at home with our children and are unsure of our place in a professional world.

    We are faced with a life that we aren't sure how to live.
    We likely know no one to talk to that really understands.
    We have questions about this new life that we have been handed; questions that we want to ask so badly, but are afraid to because of what other people may say or think.

    We wear black because it is a fashion statement; not because we are in perpetual mourning.
    We celebrate when we accomplish something new; whether it is fixing something in the house or going out for a meal on our own.
    We wish you would call.
    We wish you would mention their name.
    We cry when no one is looking.
    We also laugh because it feels good to do so once again - but laughing again does not mean that we have forgotten who and what we have lost.

    We take baby steps into a life that we did not sign up for; yet are left behind to live.
    We want to live fully again and are not sure how to go about doing so.
    We are derided (and worse) by those whom we once trusted and thought would always be a source of support for us and for our children.
    We are also loved and supported by incredibly special people in our lives without whom we would be lost and our Healing Journeys would be impossibly empty.

    We do not want to be looked at peculiarly.
    We do not want to be treated as though we carry a contagious disease called Death.
    We do not want pity.
    We simply want help without reproach.
    We want education without lecture.
    We want support without condition or negative opinion.
    We need our community of peers who understand without question.
    Because...we're still here.
    And we matter too.

    How does a stereotype fade into oblivion and take its place in the Land of the Obsolete? It starts with those who surround the widowed community; those in a position of providing consolation and comfort. The next time you meet a widowed person, resist the temptation to make remarks about how they don't look like a "typical widow/er" or reminding them how many decades that had with their beloved prior to their death and how "lucky" they should feel. Instead, simply take them by the hand, look into their eyes and say, "I'm so very sorry -- I cannot imagine the pain that you are in right now". It will help more than you will ever know.

    Carole's latest book, "Happily Even After..." has won the prestigious Books for a Better Life Award. For more information about Carole Brody Fleet and Widows Wear Stilettos, please visit

    Follow on Facebook at Widows Wear Stilettos
    Follow on Twitter: @WidowsStilettos


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