Tuesday, October 16, 2012

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back The Smart Way

How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back The Smart Way

While the end of a relationship is never a pleasant experience, it's not the end of the world. It may seem like everything you were planning on has come unglued and you're at the end of your rope with no safety net in sight, there are ways to make even the worst breakup turn around and get an ex boyfriend back. Now is not the time to be impulsive, however. If you go about things the wrong way you could end up costing yourself the future you're hoping for - and even little mistakes count. If you want to set yourself up to succeed, you need to have a plan in place that can make a devastating decision turn out alright in the end. Look closely at the points below to learn how to get an ex boyfriend back.

- First Things First - Don't Make Waves:

While it's often easier to rock the boat and try to "get even" that's the worst move you can make if you're hoping to get back together with an ex. If you still want a relationship with your ex, revenge should be the last thing on your mind. With that being said, you do need to plan your moves carefully. Before you can move in ANY direction you need to understand that your relationship has ended. While it may be easy in theory, you shouldn't discount the power of denial. Coming to grips with what has happened will get you a lot farther on your path than refusing to believe it.

Once acceptance has kicked in (or even before, depending on how long it takes) you need to break away cleanly from any contact you have with your ex-boyfriend. It doesn't matter if your contact is limited to Facebook or instant messenger - everything should be stopped immediately following the breakup. It's only by removing yourself from the quagmire of communication with an ex-boyfriend that can propel you forward and get you on your way to achieving your goals.

- Have a Mental Makeover:

Breaking away from the breakup blues can be a challenge of immense proportions but now is the time to conquer your inner demons. Your best plan of attack is to keep yourself busy with any positive distraction that crosses your mind. Whether you take up knitting or join a softball league, you need to get out there and avoid the temptation to sit at home alone with nothing but your thoughts for company.

Any kind of physical exercise is going to help you immensely. Not only will working out help you deal with depression or anxiety, it will also help clear your mind and gets your body moving again. Exercise has been proven to increase mental focus and clarity and it makes you look great at the same time. By boosting your self-esteem in a healthy and productive way, you're more ready to face the world than ever and reap the benefits of a killer body and a killer mind. Even though you're looking to ultimately reconnect with your ex, getting the once-over by other guys taking notice of all your positive attributes is a serious ego-boost and it will speed up your process of recovery.

- Enjoy Positive Influences:

If there was ever a time to spend some quality time with the family or your close-knit group of friends, this is it. How many times have you scraped one of your girlfriend's up off the ground after a nasty breakup and helped her get on her feet? Now it's your turn - and there's absolutely no shame in asking for help. Not only are most women experts in post-traumatic breakup pick-me-ups, they're eager to lend a hand whenever necessary. No one expects you to shoulder this pain all by yourself. It's okay to lean on people for support, no matter how independent you may be the rest of the time.

It may seem that these tips are more like a guide to getting over your ex - not to get him back. In a sense, you're right to think so. However, there are some key things that you need to consider. No woman is more attractive than one that seems out of reach. If your ex gets the impression that you're done with him and back on the market, he'll instantly be interested again.

Secondly, you need to avoid the trap of chasing him down. The more you try, the further away he'll get. That's what makes this plan so brilliant - it does the opposite of what he expects and makes him think that getting back together is his plan, not yours. Not only do you have the upper-hand, you also get to call the shots when he does come back. By maintaining equal footing and not allowing your self-respect to take a critical hit, you've given yourself even footing and made yourself a million times more attractive to your ex (and everyone else) than you would be otherwise.

Your Next Steps

Whilst these are effective steps to take, there is still more that you need to be aware of to get an ex boyfriend back. You need to now read up on the male psyche so that you can understand his behaviour and how he really feels about you after the break up. You will also need to learn how to make him want you again with specific psychological techniques.

You might be interested in knowing if he still has feelings for you. Look out for the signs he still loves you, then you will know if pursing him is the right thing to do.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-to-get-an-ex-boyfriend-back-the-smart-way

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